Having a child is undeniably one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. But with this great reward comes even greater responsibility. Sometimes this realization hits you like a speeding Mac truck. We've been very lucky thus far with Bella. She was born completely healthy and has yet to have any real illness. Aside from accidentally clipping her skin of her finger, Bella has been free of harm since birth. But this past weekend we experienced a scare that I don't think we'll soon forget.
My parents were in town visiting so we decided to take the whole family down to the nearby shopping area. Grandma wanted to buy Bella a nice outfit so we ventured into Gymboree. Bella was sitting as usual in her stroller curiously staring at passersby. We were admiring the dresses and commenting how cute they would look on Bella when Jin frantically yelled out to us. He was standing near Bella and she was choking!
I quickly ran to her side and looked down at her face. Her face was flushed pink and her body jerked as she tried to gasp for air. All I could think of was to grab her up out of the seat but the seat belt restrained her down. As I fumbled with the release button, a sudden flash of fear and panic shot through me. My baby was choking and I didn't know what to do!
I can't really explain the details of the next few minutes - things were happening in slow motion. I finally unbuckled the belt and flipped her over on her belly to help her cough out whatever was choking her. It seemed to have helped because she was no longer in distress and seemed to be breathing again. Jin grabbed her from me and whisked her out of the store.
I sat frozen on the Gymboree floor trying to gather my wits. We had caused quite a commotion in the store and unwanted onlookers were everywhere. Yet not a single person offered to help or even ask us if everything was ok. They were likely all veteran parents who were probably thinking that choking events were no big deal. My panic attack quickly turned into embarrassment as I stood to calmly exit the store. Whew! What a scare! My hands were still shaking but Bella was ok and that was all that mattered, I assured myself.
When I got outside Bella was laughing and smiling in Daddy's arms. All was again right with the world in her eyes. Unfortunately, the adults were still reeling from the events and soon a barrage of unsolicited comments and accusations came flying from everyone's mouth: "You fed her too much," "She wasn't burped properly", "She just burped up milk", "No, she was choking and couldn't breath", "NO, she was ..." On and on and on... The scene reminded me of the old saying, "Too many cooks spoil the stew". Our nicely planned day was soon spoiled.
And so it goes when you have kids, I suppose. Nothing is predictable and nothing can prepare you for some of the challenges of motherhood. We all ultimately realized that Bella was ok and had a nice time the remainder of the day. But the incident was a harsh reminder that things can happen to your baby in a matter of seconds and sometimes all you can do as a parent is learn from your mistakes. I for one, have learned a hefty lesson. The second I got home I ordered a 40 minute video entitled, "How to Save Your Child or Baby" which teaches you child and infant CPR, choking rescue and emergency cardiac care. Next time I'll know better what to do.
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